Would you laugh at the oldest joke in history?

The first joke ever in history is a toilet joke.

Yes, seriously!

Dating back to ancient Babylonia (situated in the central-southern Mesopotamia, roughly in the area of modern-day Iraq) and proving that gags involving flatulencies are truly as old as time itself, the oldest joke recorded is a proverb warning new husbands about their flatulent bride. 

The gag was found on tablets that may date back as far as 2,300 BC, during the Old Babylonian Empire.

The cuneiform tablet read: "Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband’s lap.”

The discovery was made public through the research led by Dr Paul McDonald, Senior lecturer at the University of Wolverhampton’s School of Humanities, Languages and Social Sciences. 

In 2008, Dr McDonald and his team were tasked to carry out the research by the TV channel Dave. 

The team spent two months researching jokes – defined by the study as "having a clear set-up and punch line structure" – to prepare for a special episode of Dave’s Live at the Apollo on 2 August 2008. During the live programme, several researches revealed the 10 oldest jokes in the world. 

Dr McDonald's team also pointed out that the joke could be considered an ancient-times equivalent of a quote by actor John Barrymore: “Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock.”

"The results provide a unique and compelling insight into how jokes have evolved over the years, both globally and in the UK," continues the research.

"By contrast, the UK’s oldest joke is a crude riddle that features in the Exeter Codex and dates back to the 10th Century AD - What hangs at a man’s thigh and wants to poke the hole that it’s often poked before? Answer: A key."

Although such jests might not sound funny to modern people, it certainly makes clear that toilet jokes were as popular back then as they are today. 

More ancient puns can be found in similar records, such as an old bar joke that is – unsurprisingly – not funny anymore. 

Recorded on a table that is roughly 4,000 years old, it can be translated: “A dog walks into a bar and says, ‘I cannot see a thing. I’ll open this one.’”

Don’t get it? Us neither. 

The jest must have been lost in translation and, being Sumerian, a dead language, it’s hard to fully understand what made it funny. 

But the Sumerian joke is far from being the only interesting gag from the past that isn't funny by modern standards. 

Ancient Egyptians had a rather funny saying, dating to 1600 BC: “How do you entertain a bored pharaoh? You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish.”

As far as Ancient Romans go, we have inherited plenty of witty quips, as well as a whole collection of jokes: the Philogelos also titled or subtitled The Jests of Hierocles and Philagrius, translated as ‘The Laughter Lover’. 

Opening a fascinating window on the time’s social context and habits, this surviving collection recounts 256 gags divided by categories. The theme of each category is given by the nature of the protagonists, from intellectuals to gluttons and rude people.

Some of the jokes, translated by John T. Quinn:

• An intellectual had been at a wedding-reception. As he was leaving, he said: “I pray that you two keep getting married so well."
• A glutton betrothed his daughter to another glutton. Asked what he was giving her as a dowry, he replied: “A house whose windows face the bakery."
• An intellectual came to check in on a friend who was seriously ill. When the man’s wife said that he had ‘departed’, the intellectual replied: “When he arrives back, will you tell him that I stopped by?”

Although they might not be all that funny these days, surprisingly, the themes sound like the same kind of jokes that we would hear in a modern pub: sometimes vulgar, sex gags, farts and drunkenness were as popular then as they are today.

More notable jokes have been found in the graffiti and murals that cover the public washrooms in the ancient city of Pompeii. 

Comedy is an art that adapts to society and changes with it. 

Through the years, it developed into many different media, blooming into a wide range of different shows – from stage tours, with British comedian Ricky Gervais registering the highest-grossing stand up comedy show in Los Angeles, to comedians on social media, with the notable Italian creator Khabane Lame being the most popular comedian on TikTok. 

Comedy movies are also an extremely popular form of entertainment, with Minions (USA, 2015) being the highest-grossing comedy movie in history.

Many, many, many centuries after the first joke ever, the first ever emoticon was formulated by the American Scott Fahlman (USA) of Carnegie Mellon University, Pittsburgh, USA. 

It was on 19 September 1982 that the first ever smiley appeared in a message on a bulletin board system. 

Once again, it was all about communication: Fahlman proposed the use of :-) and :-( in emails, to signify the emotional context of the message and prevent misunderstandings through a written conversation.

Amazingly, even if using :-) might be considered awkward by a modern teenager, it’s not so different from the tone indicators used on social media today.

Want to know more about the oldest joke and other fun comedy records? Get your copy of Guinness World Records 2024, out now in libraries and online.

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