Lazy January: Record titles you can break from your couch or bed

Every January, some motivated people make lists and dedicate their month to starting the year off on the right foot. They exercise, start Dry January, drink more water, plan out new diets and morning routines, book selfcare appointments, budget, and try to finally get a good night's sleep. 

But the holidays can be tiring! And winter is cold!

So for those who want to start off the year strong, but don’t necessarily want to leave the comfort of their bed, we’ve collected a list of records broken by people within the comfort of their homes.

Most people eating breakfast in bed 

Ring in the new year with all of your laziest friends this January by checking a record title off your list, simply by doing what you do best – eating and sleeping.

That’s right, if you can fit 574 beds in your house (ok Bill Gates), you can compete for the record title for most people eating breakfast in bed. The current titleholder, Cappy fruit juice in South Africa, broke the record in 2019 by bringing families together for breakfast and to donate all beds to local charities after the event.

Even though it sounds easy enough to relax in bed and eat breakfast with friends (albeit without hosting 573 families), studies show socializing – even in the most basic ways – has remarkable ways of improving your mental health. Having a good support network to veg out with can increase your happiness and self-esteem, reduce your stress, and give you a greater sense of belonging and purpose in life.

And hey, if you get 575 new friends in 2025, you could compete for a Guinness World Records title next year.

Loudest snoring

If you love to loudly talk about your new year's plans but also want to get an accomplishment by somehow using literally the least energy possible, you could compete for the loudest snoring award. 

Make your bed as comfy as possible, and try to get into a good REM sleep by avoiding screens and stimulants before going to sleep. Better sleepers are usually regularly physically active and stick to a sleep schedule, but you could also just try eating enough magnesium in your diet and drinking a nice cup of sleepytime tea. And then the games begin.

According to scientists, the loudest snorers are usually those who are just born with it – so sorry, there’s only so much ‘practising’ you can do. But if you have nasal problems, love to sleep on your back, or if your partner always sleeps with earplugs in… you might have a better shot at the title.

Just note that the current record title-holder Kåre Walkert (SWE) snores at peak levels of 93dBA, which is as loud as the sounds you’d experience inside of a moving subway car. Walkert suffers from the disorder sleep apnea, which is when the body obstructs breathing while asleep.

Fastest 200 m bed race

Have you ever sat in bed so long that it feels good to walk around again?

Well…Would you have enough energy to turn right around after and sprint for 200 m while pushing your bed?

If that type of record title sounds appealing for you, check out the title for fastest 200 m bed race, usually held at the Knaresborough bed race (UK) in Knaresborough, North Yorkshire, England.

Highlights from the 2023 bed race

These early birds have been getting the crown every summer since 1966 for dressing up in crazy costumes and racing while carrying their ‘sleeping’ teammate on a homemade ‘bed’ for 2.4 miles. The current record is 12 min 9 sec for the 3.27-km (2.4 mile) course, crossing the River Nidd, by the Vibroplant team on 9 June 1990.

We certainly don’t expect you to fly to England or run for 2.4 miles, but you certainly could attempt the record yourself for 200 m, set by the Harriet Harriers on 14 June 2014. The team of 7 dragged their bed 200 m in 1 min 42.22 sec, and a competitive bed-racer could reasonably compete with this score by adopting a healthy diet and exercise schedule.

One of the best ways to improve your mental and physical health is by regularly exercising 30 minutes a day for five days a week, and oddly enough, running and weight training is a great workout. Just find a few buddies and pick up that bedframe – and who knows, your morning adrenaline could lead to a new record title – and a new lifestyle.

Fastest 100 m in a chair 

But hey, we get it – running AND weight lifting?

Luckily, you could also attempt a record from a chair if you wish.

The current record-holder for fastest 100 m in a chair is André Ortolf (Germany) in Ausberg, Germany in 2014. Ortolf scooted 100 m on a six-wheeled swivel chair in 31.92 sec, beating the record title of 38.44 sec held by Ashrita Furman (USA).

Longest time spent in bed together as a stage couple 

If you’re getting so used to this record-breaking training you feel like you could do it in your sleep, why not go all the way and consider it for a new career? Well if you happen to be a Broadway-trained actor, you might have a shot at this elite bed-bound gig. 

Jessica Tandy (UK, 1909-1994) and Hume Cronyn (Canada, 1911 - 2003), have the distinction of having spent more time in bed together than any other stage couple. In October 1951, they opened at the Ethel Barrymore Theatre in Jan de Hartog's The Fourposter, and played the bed-bound characters on Broadway and on tour for the next two years – officially making them the title holders for longest time spent in bed together as a stage couple.

But if you think you can’t handle spending your entire work life with your spouse, sometimes even just a little extra quality time can work wonders on a relationship. Put down those phones (don’t make me say it again!) before bed and spend time reconnecting with your partners and listening to your loved ones. Having a support network that’s trusting and communicative can help you set better behavioral patterns that lead to a healthier lifestyle.

Most wins of the ESPN Ultimate Couch Potato

Yet no matter how dedicated you become to being lazy in 2025, just know it’s hard to beat these couch potatoes.

The bright minds at ESPN decided in the mid 2000s that yes, there is a way to quantify laziness, and yes, we want to find the lazy of the lazy. Thus began the legend of the Ultimate Couch Potato (UCP), a competition whereby the participants try to watch sports without falling asleep. 

The winners get a prize package worth about $4,000, including a flat-screen TV, a custom recliner, and free satellite or cable for a year. The rules are simple: Contestants must sit in recliners in front of a wall of televisions. They must stay awake and must watch TV – no reading, texting or talking on the phone. They get all the free food and drink they want (except alcohol) and a legally mandated five-minute stretch each hour. Bathroom breaks come a sadistic eight hours apart, and no diapers or bedpans are allowed. You can watch all the sports you like, but you won’t be allowed to have any fun while you do it.

The championship was originally held in Chicago in 2003 and has since expanded to various US cities including Denver, Baltimore, and New York. Somehow there is a three-way tie for the most wins of the ESPN Ultimate Couch Potato title, between Jason Pisarik (USA, 32:00 hours and 39:55 hours), Jeff Miller (USA, 40:30 hours and 39:02 hours), and Stan Friedman (USA, 29:00 hours and 19:48 hours).

But hey, there’s no harm in practising.

Header image: Tamba Budiarsana\Pexels