So we meet again.

Miami Heat. San Antonio Spurs. NBA Finals on the line.

With the best-of-7 rematch of the epic 2013 championship starting Thursday, we could have very easily just gone with copy/pasting this story from last year again, but what fun is that?!

Instead, after marvelling at the fantastic six games these gladiators gave us last season, and watching as their headings brought them closer and closer to the same port this year, we've decided to throw our own hat in the ring.

And so, without further ado, we've taken a cue from the Monstars.

Allow me to introduce the starting five and bench players of world record holders designed exclusively to knock Miami off its perch or topple San Antonio's Swiss-watch precision.

POINT GUARD: ARVE GRAVDAL

Going against Tony Parker or the Mario Chalmers/Norris Cole combo will require two things: speed and handle. So, much like the Spurs, we go foreign to find our point guard.

Also from Europe, Norway's Arve Gravdal provides us everything we need. As the current and two-time holder for the fastest time to dribble a basketball between baselines, he gives us the sparkplug we require while playing turnover-savvy ball. He can go end to end in just 3.605 sec.

Plus, Arve can shoot the rock, and do so unconventionally to throw off his defender -- he also owns the records for most backwards half court shots in one minute (3) and most underhanded half court shots in one minute (3). Having someone who can chuck from the timeline should stretch the defense pretty well.

SHOOTING GUARD: DAN LORIAUX

There's no way we'd be able to keep up with either team's offensive sets if we didn't have a sharpshooter to counter the many gunners on either side.

Enter Dan Loriaux.

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Fittingly, Dan owns three records for 3-point shooting. He has hit the most treys in one minute (25), one hour (1,077), and 24 hours (10,381). Oh, and he's not just a blind chucker. On his 24-hour attempt, Dan shot an otherworldly 75.67% from deep. We're confident he'll be our leading scorer.

SMALL FORWARD: JORDAN DAVIS

Probably our most unconventional choice, since there's no basketball skill, but hear me out. Our 3 would probably have to guard LeBron or Danny Green most of the time. We're already conceding that LeBron can't really be stopped, only funneled to our muscle (see below). And someone like Green or Kawhi Leonard mostly needs supervision in just the corners.

So we turn to parkour artist Jordan Davis, who owns the longest sideflip at 4.65 m (15 ft 3.125 in). LeBron just beat him off the dribble strong side? A quick flip and Jordan's back in front for a charge. The defensive rotation lapsed and Green is about to pull the trigger on a corner 3? Another flip and he's there. Jordan Davis will be our Bruce Bowen.

POWER FORWARD: KEVIN FAST

We are taking the power forward position quite literally, enlisting the help of Canadian strongman Kevin Fast.

Plenty of points will come from our backcourt and bench (see below). What we need is muscle and defense, especially going shoulder to shoulder with Tim Duncan and LeBron when the Heat go small.

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Fast has broken 18 world records in his career for strength. This ranges from the heaviest vehicle pulled over 100 ft ( 57,243 kg/126,200 lb) to the most people supported on the shoulders (11 - photo above). With that kind of bruising ability, LeBron and Timmy will think twice about driving the lane or posting on the low block.

CENTER: LANIER TWINS

There's a bonus here, as the tallest twins ever also happen to have basketball experience. Mike and James Lanier each stand 2.235m (7 ft 3 in) tall, the exact kind of length we need to counteract both teams' fluid, perimeter-oriented attacks.

And these aren't two stiffs we're throwing out there for height. Mike and James each played college ball, at UCLA and the University of Denver, respectively. The one drawback? Age. They're 44 years old now, but that's just about the same age as Tim Duncan.

BENCH: BOB FISHER, ADAM BEATRICE, AMAZON EVE

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Every successful team needs a strong bench, and we've got a great collection of X-factors.

Joining whichever Lanier twin isn't starting, Bob Fisher leads our bench brigade. Serving as our James Harden, all Bob needs to do is see the floor and get fouled. That's because Bob is automatic offense from the charity stripe, owning 11 records for free-throw shooting, including most in one minute (50) and one hour (2,371).

And we'll take Beatrice as a long-range scheme buster. Adam owns two surface-to-air shooting records: the most halfcourt shots made in one minute (10) and the most consecutive halfcourt shots made (4). When we need that deep buzzer-beater with 2 seconds left, we're running the picket fence for Adam.

Rounding out the lineup is our most controversial pick. As the tallest professional model, 6-foot-8 ( 201.66 cm) Amazon Eve possesses zero basketball ability. But, as a stunning distraction who can at least provide six fouls, we'll take our chances.

How do you think our team would do? Could we stay within 100 points? Let us know in the comments and enjoy the NBA Finals!

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