When Cristiano Ronaldo stands over a free kick, even the most world-class keepers quiver. Well, they can take a page from the book of 11-year-old Charlie Silverwood. The Bournemouth fan, sitting behind goal, broke his wrist when a Ronaldo missile missed its target and struck Silverwood in the crowd as Real Madrid took on Bournemouth in an exhibition. These soccer shots are no daisies: the record for fastest shot recorded in a match is David Hirst's 114 mph (183 km/h) rocket in 1996. Here's video of the Ronaldo shot plunking Silverwood, who later received an autographed jersey from CR7 as an apology.

Of course the biggest news around these parts here today is our announcement of the new world's oldest living man. For a full breakdown of 112-year-old Mr. Salustiano Sanchez, check out his whole story here.

Trouble loading this article? Live in America? A new report shows that the U.S. continues to drop in Internet speed rankings, while South Korea boasts the fastest Internet connection speed of any nation. America slipped to 9th place in Akamai's "State of the Internet" report, due mainly to the country's expansive territory, large population, and paucity of providers.

From the "Things We Would Never Endorse" department, a Canadian man got drunk and decided to go for a swim -- across the Detroit River and into the United States, just to see if he could do it. He did, but at the cost of three U.S. and Canadian coast guard boats and a helicopter being deployed to search for him, plus a fine expected to run him anywhere from $5,000 (£3,255) to $25,000 (£16,275). Here is that man, John Morillo, giving an interview and sounding pretty contrite.

This kind of thing should be left to the pros, like Şahika Ercümen (Turkey), who holds the female record for longest breath held swim under ice (using fins and a diving suit) at 110 m (360 ft 11 in). When she broke this record in 2011, it also beat the male record at the time.