What, have you not heard that "Anchorman 2" comes out tonight?
Where've you been getting your news, Frank Vitchard and Channel 2? They've been in third place for five years!
Everyone's favorite fake television personality is back in theaters Wednesday, as Ron Burgundy reunites with Brick Tamland, Champ Kind, Brian Fantana & Co. for what's sure to be a highlight of the holiday movie season.
We love rich mahogany and leather-bound books as much as the next person, so here are a handful of our favorite Anchorman quotes and the records they make us think of, to get you ready for the most anticipated sequel since Ling-Wong gave birth.
"YOU STAY CLASSY, SAN DIEGO."
Discovered by the Germans in 1904, this jewel by the Pacific has enchanted news anchors and record breakers alike ever since; none more so than healthcare group Kaiser Permanente. Its San Diego branch has spearheaded 19 different world records since 2010, along the lines of largest skin cancer screening (780 participants) and most eye tests performed in 8 hours (1,109). We're sure Ron could've used such help after getting maced by Veronica Corningstone in the newsroom.
"I LOVE SCOTCH. SCOTCHY, SCOTCH, SCOTCH. HERE IT GOES DOWN, DOWN INTO MY BELLY."
Boy what Ron wouldn't do to get his hands on this baby before a newscast.
At 228 litres (50.15 gal, 60.23 US gal) and standing 1.7 metres (5 ft 7 in) tall, The Famous Grouse's creation, unveiled on Aug. 12, 2012 (above), is the largest bottle of scotch ever. Unique New York!
"THEY'VE DONE STUDIES, YOU KNOW. 60% OF THE TIME, IT WORKS EVERY TIME."
Brian Fantana sure knows how to make his way around the ladies, and with a weapon like Sex Panther in his arsenal, we bet no woman within a 2-mile radius could resist. Which is why we're sure he would crush at something like the largest speed dating event, with 4 84 participants by Paktor Pte Ltd in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam, on Nov. 30 to choose from. It wasn't a K-Mart but we're sure it would do.
"BAXTER...IS THAT YOU? BAXTER! BARK TWICE IF YOU'RE IN MILWAUKEE."
Something about the absurdity of Milwaukee makes us love this throwaway line, but it's one of America's great cities in any decade. Although knowing how much Ron, Brian, and friends love their hair, they'd probably want to steer clear of Brew City. It was just 20 minutes outside of town where Brookfield, Wisc., hosted the record for most heads shaved in one hour by a team with 371. We thought there was no touching of the hair or face!
"OH, IT'S THE DEEP BURN. OH, IT'S SO DEEP. OH, I CAN BARELY LIFT MY RIGHT ARM BECAUSE I DID SO MANY. I DON'T KNOW IF YOU HEARD ME COUNTING. I DID OVER A THOUSAND."
While Ron arrived at his Jack Johnson and Tom O'Leary guns with deception, there's one man who literally did do a thousand arm curls once, and his name is Eamonn Keane. In May 2012, the Irish strongman performed 1,258 curls of a 40 kg weight to break the record for most weight in one hour by arm curls, totaling 50,320 kg (110,936 lb 9 oz).
"I LOVE LAMP."
If you thought Ron would go crazy for scotch, imagine the stroke Brick would have if he ever came across the largest floor lamp while in Oslo. Measuring 9.16 m (30 ft) high with a lampshade 3.98 m (13 ft) across, not even your sharpest trident could keep Brick away from this object of his affection.
What's your favorite Anchorman quote and what record does it make you think of? Let us know in the comments and enjoy the movie!
Looking for that perfect last-minute stocking stuffer and a bottle of Sex Panther is unavailable? Well, the Guinness World Records 2014 edition is on sale now. See a full list of where to find it here.